I’m constantly frustrated by other’s conception of hell. When I say, “My day was Hell” people think I use a grandiose exaggeration to make a display my feelings of having a bad day. When I say “hell” I do not mean a fiery inferno that people go to be punished after they die, I mean emotional destruction of the mind, a total lack of and self value, and a complete break from any connections to others. That is to say: Hate is a connection that two may connect with each other, therefore hell is not made up of people who hate but rather feel apathy.
More specifically my hell is a world where no one cares about me or even acknowledges my presence. It is a state of the purest insanity. By nature every intelligent form of life is aware of its existence; however, this Hell contradicts this. The creature must exist to experience this separation but everything (or everyone) presents evidence that the creature does not exist.
I view death much differently than others. Death, simply put, is the permanent separation of one being to another. When put in this context, when a friend says goodbye to another, and never sees this person (or makes any form of contact) ever again, this person is dead. One might argue that the possibility of reestablishing the connection is proof of life even if that possibilities is never realized. I argue that emotionally the human psyche treats the improbable with the same discrepancy as the impossible (people don’t celebrate the moment after buying a lottery ticket). While less than a dozen people in my life have died in the traditional sense of the word, hundreds have died in my life under this new definition (and I have died to hundreds of others).
It is important to note that I do realize the great amount of physical suffering incurred by traditional death that I have been spared from witnessing and experiencing up to this point. My point is rather, that the emotional suffering remains the same in both “deaths”.
I cannot emphasize enough that all human happiness and mental stability relies on the connections he/she makes with others. Sin can only be the destruction, inhibition, or decimation of these connections. Unlike traditional views of Sin, my version of Sin the victim is punished along with the sinner. In the case where the sinner breaks a connection between two other parties (exclusive to himself/ herself) the sinner is not punished at all, but is very likely to repeat the same break to his own connections.
Forgiveness is a form of virtuous act where by the sin can be eliminated. Therefore the just man/woman seeks forgiveness always and grants it always. If this law is true for the rebuilding of connections it is also true for the building of connections. It is a virtuous act to forgive another or make a friendship; however, it is a sin to deny forgiveness or refuse a friendship. Because both active and passive action can (and often do) have the same affect in building or destroying a connection, the sinner is just as responsible for passive action as he/she is active. For example if telling some one to “jump off a bridge” has the same effect as not saying anything to a person’s relationship or possible relationship, both these actions are equally sinful.
Therefore, imperfect human beings are incapable of being sinless. Virtue lies on improvement in the form of knowledge so that passive action becomes active action to the highest extent possible for any given moment.
If I were to sit at a table with you talking for an hour within the course of our conversation whatever it might be about I will inevitably say many things that will strengthen the connection of our relationship (both intentionally and unintentionally), but also say many things that will make our relationship deteriorate (unintentionally). My responsibility as a virtuous man is to become aware or “awakened” to what words or actions are strengthening our bond (so to repeat this behavior) and what words were putting distance between us. This only can be achieved through mastery (after practice and reflection) of perception and solid lines of uninhibited communication. Since remaining passive inhibits the rebuilding and strengthening of our bond its is by definition a sinful act. So if I (or anyone else) do not reflect and learn from my perceptions and strive to improve to the maximum of my awareness (awake-ness) I live in active and conscious sin.